


Forgiveness

by orphan_account



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Double Penetration, Dubious Consent, Gang Rape, Gangbang, Hate Sex, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Torture, Porn With Plot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Self-Harm, Sexual Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 14:53:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4923868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Izaya Orihara has been missing for months. Now, he turns up on Shizuo Heiwajima's doorstep, abused, broken, and beaten. Shizuo must learn to put aside his hatred to do the unthinkable - help the man he once long considered his sworn enemy.</p><p>Discontinued.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Noncon in this chapter. Circumstances will improve. Please leave feedback if there are issues. Thanks.

It was a normal morning for Shizuo up until the very moment when a large package found its way to his doorstep.

He couldn't remember having ordered anything of this size any time recently. Yet, clear as day, the brown box sat there, his name and address surely printed at the top. For Shizuo Heiwajima. The sender was from all the way in Kanto. He didn't recognize their name.

Sighing, he decided, fuck it, let's just open it. He hoisted it into his apartment and was surprised to find that it was quite heavy. A few moments later and he was slicing the tape open with a boxcutter, revealing...

He stopped. It looked like... a body? His heart began hammering in his chest. Had someone sent him a fucking corpse? He tore the box fully open with reckless abandon, and light entered into the caverns of the package, illuminating its contents. His breath caught in his throat.

It was Izaya. Tied up, pale and thin as ever, and wearing a loose black shirt. Shizuo's hands clenched into fists. Was this supposed to be another fucking prank on the informant's part? To go disappearing for months and reappear as a special delivery? Shizuo shook his head rapidly and seized the unconscious informant, yanking him out of the box. He shook him, somewhat violently. "Wake up," he snarled. "You fucking flea. Wake up!"

Izaya's eyelids trembled open and he had only a split second to spend half-awake before he suddenly started to panic, thrashing, which shocked Shizuo and caused him to let go. Izaya scrambled away from him like he was some monster, and huddled between some furniture, trying to make himself appear small. Shizuo only grew angrier at this weird... roleplay. What the fuck was the informant trying to play?

"What the hell is going on?" Shizuo barked. "What is it this time?"

Izaya responded only by quickly turning his head down, averting his eyes. His whole body trembled. He did not speak.

Shizuo was getting more impatient by the second. He stepped over and grabbed the informant by the collar, forcing him to look at him. "Tell me right now what's going on!" he demanded.

Instead, Izaya broke down. "I'm so sorry - " he started babbling, tears filling his eyes. He shut them, trying to do anything to avoid eye contact. "I'm so sorry, please forgive me, please, I'll do anything - please - "

Shizuo was baffled by this response. He let go of the informant, who fell to the ground in a heap, snivelling and shaking, still begging for forgiveness that Shizuo was not inclined to give.

At this moment, he realized just how awful the informant looked. He was not wearing pants. He was even thinner than usual. And on closer inspection, his legs and arms seemed to be covered in bruises. Something twisted inside of Shizuo, but he suppressed it. This was Izaya we were talking about! Not a victim. Surely there was some greater plan here, some joke, some scheme of Izaya's that would only end poorly for Shizuo if he kept him here any longer.

So he grabbed him again, this time by the arm. Izaya went limp, quelling his begging. He was renewed, however, when he realized that Shizuo was dragging him to the door.

"No! No - please, please, Master, no - I'll be good for you, I promise, I swear - I'll do anything for you - anything - I'll be a good little slut, I promise - just please, please don't get rid of me, Master, I can be good, I can be useful, please - "

Master? Slut? Shizuo felt sick, suddenly. He let Izaya go a second time, his thoughts in a daze. Okay. This was certainly one of Izaya's most eccentric pranks -

He jolted. A hand was at his crotch. Shizuo looked down to see Izaya going to unzip his fly. "What the-" he started to protest but gasped when a wet warmth wrapped around his newly freed cock. Izaya was - he was -

Shizuo hardened, completely overtaken with shock, and then jerked back, his cock slipping out from Izaya's lips. Izaya lowered his head following this rejection. "I... I can serve you," Izaya whispered.

Shizuo stood there in complete silence, his eyes wide. His mind struggled to process the situation he was in. Izaya Orihara had been missing for almost a year. Now, he'd turned up in Shizuo's apartment, acting strange and demure and... god, how he hated him, how much he just wanted the fucking flea dead - the amount of trouble the informant had put him through was more than enough for his anger to be justified, right? Shizuo's hands clenched into fists. He hated him. Hated him. Hated, hated, hated him. He wanted to hurt him. And it seemed, for once, he was going to get his way.

Shizuo grabbed Izaya and shoved him onto the couch. Izaya trembled violently, his eyes wide. "Master, please don't-" he started to say, but was cut off when Shizuo flipped him around, forcing his face into the wall so that his ass was up in the air. Not only was he not wearing pants, but he just had nothing on down there at all. But Shizuo was hardly thinking at this point. His mind was consumed with rage, with the desire to hurt, with the desire to take advantage of the opportunity that had finally presented itself to him.

He lined up his still-hard cock with Izaya's entrance and shoved inside in one stroke. Izaya cried out beneath him, shaking, tears brimming in his eyes again. "No, no, nononono," he babbled, "nonono," but he did not resist. There was no strength in him to. He swayed like a doll while Shizuo continued thrusting into him, harsh and thick and unrelenting, deep inside of his battered hole.

Izaya was hot and tight and so good. Shizuo groaned and lost himself in anger and pleasure, grabbing at Izaya's hair, yanking his head back so he could hear his frenzied moans and yelps louder. He felt himself becoming more wild, more vicious, and he kept taking and taking and taking until his hips bucked all the way in and he came inside of him, marking him, filling him like an animal. When he was finally spent, he let go, stepping back and panting.

Izaya fell limp onto the couch, white liquid seeping from his ass. He was sobbing. His whole body shook.

Suddenly, nausea hit Shizuo like a brick. The full gravity of what he'd just done snatched his heart and tore it. He collapsed onto the ground, feeling sick with himself. He had raped him. Shizuo had raped Izaya. The word made him want to retch. In his anger, he had forgotten himself, and he had acted on something primal and twisted inside of him.

Now it was Shizuo who wanted forgiveness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New tags in place for this chapter.

Shizuo sauntered out of the room in a daze, unsure of what to do. Now Izaya was probably terrified of him - for good reason, at least, but he vowed to never do it again. Ever.

He gripped the edge of his dresser and started rummaging through for clothes. A bath would be a good place to start. His clothing would not fit Izaya well, but perhaps a looser fit was for the best. When he reentered the room, Izaya sat upright on the couch, with no visible sign of what had just occurred earlier.

"Izaya," Shizuo said in the softest voice he could muster. Trembling, Izaya jolted and looked up slightly, his eyes on Shizuo's body rather than on his face. "I'm ... uh, I'm sorry," he began saying, running a hand through his hair. "That was... I'm sorry. I see now that... you are not in the state to... uh, fight. So what I did... that was wrong. And I won't do it again."

No response. Just a dead empty gaze.

"I got you some clothes," Shizuo continued awkwardly. "I think you'd enjoy a nice bath. Do you want that?"

"A bath," Izaya repeated numbly.

"Yeah. Uh... just by yourself. You can do that, right?"

Izaya nodded and went to get up, but instead of standing like he expected to, his knees buckled beneath him and he fell. Shizuo just barely managed to catch him in his grip, and the sensation of being completely surrounded by another man made Izaya's pulse skyrocket, his whole body taut and tense. Shizuo distanced himself almost instantly.

But Izaya was determined. He tried to stand, again. He had to do it by himself, or else his master would be angry with him again, and punish him again like he did before, because Izaya had done something wrong, and bad boys needed to be punished, no matter how much it hurt.

Only this time, Shizuo grabbed his arm, and Izaya froze. No, nonono, no no - was it because he fell? He wouldn't do it ever again. He would promise. He was going to be good now, a good little slut, and before he knew it he was begging out loud, babbling and crying when Shizuo shook his head and relaxed his grip.

"Nevermind. I'll help you bathe. I just thought you might've wanted some... privacy."

The words meant nothing to Izaya except that he didn't have to do it by himself after all, but secretly he cursed himself for being too weak to do it on his own. Now he'd have to pay back his master somehow, to return the favor.

Shizuo led him into the bathroom and turned on the hot water. Carefully, he took the shirt off of Izaya, who complied, most disturbingly, like a ragdoll. When he saw his body beneath, he felt sick all over again. Izaya looked starved, and more importantly, he was completely covered in bruises and scars. All across his back were pale whip marks, and obscenities had been carved onto his chest and shoulders, like "slut" and "cumdump" and "cocksleeve".

Izaya himself remained complacent. Sickeningly enough, fucking him seemed to have made him more submissive, even more passive than before. His fits were far less frequent, and his body was limp. When Shizuo lowered him into the warm bath, he remained immobile.

Shizuo swallowed, trying not to stare at certain areas as he began scrubbing away the dirt. But inevitably, he had to touch that area eventually. "Izaya," he said carefully, "I need you to... uh, turn around."

Izaya complied, and even raised his ass for him, obviously expecting something that Shizuo was not about to do. Gently, Shizuo began wiping Izaya's ass area, and averted his eyes from looking at Izaya's limp and small cock dangling between his thin white thighs. "There," he said after a moment. "All done."

Izaya blinked in surprise. No more fucking? Had the first time been unsatisfactory? His pulse quickened. Right, he had said 'no' and wasn't very enthusiastic. That was bad. He was a bad whore. Next time, he would at least pretend to like it. Then Shizuo would keep him and he would be a good little pet for his master. He had to stop fighting back. His master didn't like that.

Then Shizuo dried and dressed him. Izaya felt a little odd wearing the clothing. It had been long, so long, since the last time he was fully dressed. He wondered why. Maybe Shizuo wanted him to look presentable. Maybe he was going to show him around.

Show him around to who?

-

_"Here he is, everyone. Our latest fucktoy."_

_Breaths of audible excitement and hunger resounded from around him. Izaya trembled, thumbing at the ruffles of his maid outfit while the group of men surveyed him like he was dinner._

_His old master was there, in the back, watching expectantly. Izaya had to put on a show, he knew, for Master's guests. With a moment's hesitation, he lifted his legs over his head and used his hands to spread open his asshole, slick with lube. "Please," he begged, his voice thin, "fuck me."_

_He did not need to ask again. In an instant, they were upon him, ravenous hands grabbing at his body and tearing his clothing away. One man shoved a cock into his mouth, and he sucked willingly, while another stuffed his cock into his ass. Izaya yelped, jerking from the thickness of the shaft, but continued to be speared from both ends relentlessly._

_It hurt. It hurt so much. But he had to be good, or Master would disown him, and that was unthinkable. So he tightened up his ass and tried to will the man fucking him to come, to fill him up inside with his seed. Surely enough, he did, and wet heat surged deep into Izaya's belly. He was left empty for only a second before another cock replaced the previous one, squelching its way into his deepest folds. The cock in his mouth pulled out and spurted all over his face and body, and now he moaned into the open, his cries rising in pitch when the dick inside him angled just right, hitting him in that spot that made his mind go white._

_"God, what a slut he is," someone breathed into his ear. "Beautiful whore." Another cock lined itself near his ass, and he panicked._

_"No," he gasped, but they did not listen, or maybe they liked that, when he said 'no'. "It won't fit - it won't - please - please - aahh!!" His back arched when it rammed inside of him, two of them at once stretching him. Black and red dots swarmed his vision. He screamed openly as he was fucked, struggling to grab onto something, anything -_

-

"Izaya?" Shizuo's voice shattered the memory, and Izaya jolted back into reality, still trembling ever so slightly. He swallowed.

"I'm sorry, Master," he murmured, "I'm sorry. Sometimes I - sometimes my mind wanders. I'm sorry, Master, please forgive me, I'm stupid, a dumb animal, a brainless fucktoy - "

"Stop it," Shizuo growled almost angrily and Izaya clammed up instantly, taut as a bowstring. "Just... stop." He sighed, putting a hand to his forehead. "Do you want to eat something?"

Izaya tried not to look hopeful. "Only... only if Master permits me... I-I don't deserve... not after what I did earlier... pl-please, Master, give me another chance. Please fuck me again, this time I'll be good, I'll be a good little slut and I'll take it and I'll-"

"Stop it!" Shizuo snarled, and Izaya flinched, terror filling his eyes. "I'm not going to - to fuck you anymore. So stop it."

Not going to fuck him anymore? Why? Izaya looked to the ground, panic rising. This was it. Surely, he was going to be thrown out. He was bad. He couldn't even pleasure his master. His old master would punish him for this, for failing Shizuo. His old master would fuck him raw until he couldn't even scream. His eyes watered again.

He looked up to see Shizuo holding out a bowl to him. A bowl of miso soup, it seemed. Izaya's mouth watered. How terribly he wanted it... but he couldn't have it. Not unless he earned it. Not unless...

Shizuo handed him a spoon. "Eat," he commanded.


	3. Chapter 3

Shakily, Izaya grasped the spoon in his weak hand and cautiously sampled the first taste of the soup. Instantly, he almost began to cry. It was good, so good, and warm, and comforting. In the moment, he forgot himself and abandoned the spoon to instead upturn the bowl's contents into his mouth. When he lowered it from his lips, it was completely empty.

"Uh," Shizuo stuttered and Izaya remembered his place. He quickly lowered his head. Was that wrong? Was he supposed to use the spoon? Would he be punished?

"What... happened to you?" Shizuo asked finally.

Izaya swallowed. What did that mean? But Master had asked a question, and he was required to answer it, even if he didn't understand. "I'm sorry, Master, but I - I don't know what you mean, Master. Please... please be more specific for this brainless whore."

"I mean..." Shizuo grunted impatiently. "I mean all this. The... why are you even here? Let's start with that. Who sent you here?"

Now that was something he could answer. Izaya replied eagerly, "My old master sent me to you to serve you, Master. He - he trained me. I was - I was bad. Bad and disobedient. He made me good. So I could serve you better, Master. I - I'll do anything you ask me to, if I can."

"Who was your old master?"

"I - I can't tell you that, Master. I never knew his name."

Shizuo ran a hand through his hair. This was going to be tough. He needed information, and he needed it badly, but he wasn't about to make Izaya's emotional state any worse, when he had just managed to calm him some.

Wait. Shinra! Of course. If anyone could get Izaya to talk, it'd be him. Shizuo grabbed for his phone and made the call right away. A few rings later and Shinra picked up.

"Yes?"

"Hey, Shinra. I'm gonna need your help with someth-"

"Can it wait? I'm with Celty right now."

Shizuo's grip on his phone tightened. Fucking Shinra and his one-track obsession with Celty. "No, it can't. I need-" But he was talking to no one. Shinra had already hung up. Shizuo stared at his phone for a moment before he threw it into the wall, making Izaya flinch.

Izaya looked down. So Shizuo wanted Shinra to come. Did he want a ... ?

-

_Izaya ran, panting into the receiver of his phone as it rang and rang at him. Over and over, he received the answering machine, and over and over, he kept trying again, while continuing his mad dash into the night._

_Finally, Shinra picked up. "Ahh, what the hell? Can't you tell I'm busy? This better be important."_

_"Shinra-" Izaya started to say, but they caught up to him. A swift blow to the head and he careened, hitting the ground. The phone was yanked from his weak grip. Izaya could still hear Shinra babbling away when one of the men crushed the phone under his heel. Another man pinned Izaya to the ground with his weight._

_Izaya trembled and then laughed nervously. "Did all of you really need to come just to subdue little me? You're more pathetic than I thought." But truthfully, his heart was pounding inside of him. Days of starvation and beatings flashed before his eyes. He wondered what torture was in store for him now, now that he'd tried to escape._

_Then he felt the man grab the hem of his pants._

_Izaya's eyes widened. No. Nonono. He could take the beatings. He could take the starvation, the dehydration, the humiliation, even. But this? No no no. Unthinkable. His body was himself. To be violated to the flesh was unthinkable. "Stop," he protested, "stop it, wait, hold on, don't-"_

_His ass was exposed to the open air now. Fingers slick with lube inserted themselves into his tight hole. Izaya winced from the foreign sensation, his whole body wound tight and shaky. "Hold on - " he begged again, "wait, this won't feel good, surely you've got someone else you can do this to, not me, not me - aaahh!"_

_The fingers inside him brushed against a strange spot, and he saw stars, fast and flickering. The men rumbled low laughter in the revelation that they had found what they were looking for. Deliberately, the fingers began kneading that area again and again, and Izaya's cries became more frantic. His cock grew harder as it was ground against the floor, and he hated his body, hated it so much for reacting this way. Several strokes later and he came into the ground with a scream, streaks of white against the asphalt. His body trembled, his whole frame weak. Surely, it had to be over now._

_But it was not. The fingers pulled out and were replaced by one larger, thicker object. Izaya resumed the begging almost instantaneously. "Wait wait wait, big guy, I just - I just came. This is unfair, I need a break, I need - AAHHH!"_

_Pain shot through him like a bullet. Too big. Too much. His mind was filled with agony. The man just kept raping him, sometimes slamming straight into his throbbing prostate. Every time he did, a pulse of tight pain coursed through Izaya's spent cock. His self-hatred grew worse. Another man lifted his head by the hair and forced him into a sloppy, filthy kiss. The man's mouth tasted of something rotten, and his tongue lunged into Izaya's mouth, hungry and thirsty._

_Weakly, Izaya reached out a trembling hand for his smashed phone. Though broken, a winking light still showed on its screen. But Shinra had already hung up._

-

Izaya was spacing out again, only this time Shizuo thought it prudent to not bother him. Instead, he tried to think of what else to do. Izaya really... didn't have any other friends aside from Shinra, a fact which normally made Shizuo laugh but now it made him feel angry and terrible.

Maybe he should try to amuse him somehow. Keep his mind off of things. Shizuo turned on the television and held out the remote to Izaya. It took a moment, but Izaya grabbed the remote with a blank look on his face before he started staring at the TV.

"I'm gonna be back, okay? Gonna go buy some things," Shizuo said. Izaya seemed to not even register it, but he shrugged and left anyways.

Izaya watched the TV. It was the news. Izaya used to love the news. Used to love humanity. But now, something about the chaos and entropy of the world made him feel sick and afraid rather than excited. The news report was about some criminal in Kanto, found guilty of assault. He had eluded authorities and was said to be last seen in Tokyo.

When his picture came up, Izaya felt sick. His world spun. It was his master. Not Shizuo, but his old master. His first one. The one that made him good. Was he coming to get him? Izaya feared him, but he loved him, too; Master made him good, made him obedient, drove away the evil inside of him. If Master hurt him, it was because he had been bad. Izaya knew this to be true.

Izaya was engrossed in the news until the phone rang. He jolted, snapping out of his trance, and stared at the phone. He knew he shouldn't, but he had to. He picked it up.

Shinra's voice came from the speaker. "Okay, sorry about that, Shizuo. I'm done now. What is it?"

"Sh... Shinra?" Izaya's voice was thin as a knife's edge, shaky and scared. His mouth was completely dry.

"Izaya?" Shinra sounded confused, but there was a hint of something else. Anger, almost? "What the hell? Where have you been? And what did you do to Shizuo this time?"

But Izaya was no longer able to communicate. A rush of tears consumed him. Shinra. It was Shinra. Shinra would never care about him again. Not with the way he was. Shinra sounded so angry. He was right to be. Izaya had been bad, so bad, and a liar. He deserved to be hurt and hated. He didn't deserve Shinra's concern or friendship. All this rushed through his mind, but all he said aloud was, "ah..."

"Hey, put Shizuo on the line again if he's near you. He sounded like he needed help with something. Maybe someone got injured again, I dunno."

"..."

"Izaya? Are you even there? Don't think I forgot the last time you called me before your disappearance stint. What was all that about, anyways?"

"..."

"Look, if you don't say anything, I'm gonna have to find Shizuo myself."

"..."

And then Shinra hung up. Izaya lowered the phone from his ear, trembling. Now he'd done it. Now he'd fucked up.

He brought his nails to his neck and began scratching furiously. Idiot. Idiot. Brainless whore. Worthless slut. Stupid, stupid, bad, bad boy, maggot. Filth. Blood seeped from the reopened scars by his throat. Trash. Garbage. Cocksleeve, cumdump, fucktoy. His old master was watching him. Watching. Punish you, he whispered. My pet.


End file.
